Tuesday, October 4, 2011

An Open Letter To Lolitas

This post is inspired by this post on Parfait Doll, and my own real life experiences.

Dear Lolitas everywhere,

Whether you live in a big city or a little town, I have a very special piece of advice for you. STOP TRYING TO HUG STRANGERS. I know it might be really exciting to meet someone else who shares something in common with you, but it's just not cool and you only turn the person off when you do it. Lolitas are like unicorns... exotic and rare, and if you can recognize one you will be changed forever by the experience... but you can't scare them, you can't just run up and touch one. You have to approach slowly, speak calmly and obtain their trust. Only then will you befriend the Lolita.

To demonstrate how hugging strangers is totally unacceptable, let's study two scenarios:

#1 Lolita meets Lolita
Girl One: *sees another girl wearing Lolita fashion*
Girl One: HI! Are you wearing Lolita??
Girl Two: Yes.
Girl One: That is so cool! We hug now!
Girl Two: T____T

#2 Dog owner meets dog owner
Girl One: *sees another girl with a dog*
Girl One: You have a dog!
Girl Two: Yes, this is sparky.
Girl One: OMG I have a dog at home! We hug now!
Girl Two: T____T

Now, see how in situation two, it feels awkward... because it always is. The proper way to interact with another Lolita would be as follows:

Girl One: *sees a girl wearing Lolita*
Girl One: Hi, I like your outfit, is it Lolita?
Girl Two: Thank you, yes it is.
Girl One: Wow, I'm really into Lolita. I love your shoes*, where did you get them?
Girl Two: Oh, they are from ________.
Girl One: Would it be okay if I got your email address? I've never met anyone else around town who's also into the fashion.
*you could say anything about her outfit that you like, maybe her skirt or a piece of jewelry. If you recognize the item and it's brand you could say "I love your skirt, is that one from Angelic Pretty?" and that would reassure the other Lolita of your legitimate knowledge of the fashion.

Today, I "met" a girl who was almost textbook first scenario, complete with hug. Not even an, "Is it okay if I hug you?" (which I will still never understand), but just an outright statement of "I'm going to hug you now..." (and there is nothing you can do about it). My husband put it best when he said that he wished we had a time machine so that we could go back and somehow prepare this girl for my walking into the store. Maybe we could have been friends, but now I'm just forever creeped out by her and will probably never go back to that store. I decided to write her a letter, and maybe we can start fresh. I feel bad about my immediate reaction, and I'd like to make amends. Maybe we'll hit it off, maybe we won't but at least I can say that I tried. This isn't the first time it's happened to me either. I'm still just a regular, very shy girl, who would love to chat and make friends, but not if you're going to make me uncomfortable.

So Lolitas everywhere, learn this lesson well especially if you want to build friendships with other Lolitas you may encounter.


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